never grow up.

as i sit here waiting for my bread to be ready, its 2.05am and recently its at times like this that i tend to do most of my thinking. i think about esme mostly. about what i want for her in life, about how i never want to lose any of the memories i have of her, how i want to make so many memories with her. i want her to stay forever perfect, forever young, forever innocent. i know she will be forever beautiful and i know that no matter what, no matter how tall or old she is she will always be my baby girl. there's a taylor swift song called never grow up and it puts me in mind of esme. some of the lyrics are:

your little hands wrapped around my finger,
and its so quiet in the world tonight,
your little eyelids flutter cause your dreaming,
so i tuck you in, turn on your favourite night light
to you everythings funny, you got nothing to regret,
i'd give all i have honey,
if you could stay like that

oh darling dont you ever grow up,
dont you ever grow up, just stay this little,
oh darling dont you ever grow up,
dont you ever grow up, it could stay this simple,
i wont let nobody hurt you, wont let no one break your heart,
and no one will desert you,
just try to never grow up, never grow up

thats just the first verse and chorus - oh how i wish we never had to grow up...

this is her beautiful smile that greets me every morning when i look into her crib <3

 

and this is her happy chocolate face!! hmm, am i a bad mother....?

p.s. on a slightly awesome note, my bread smells AMAZING and it looks pretty good too.